First trip into Temple and Shopping with New hearing aids...

Monday June 23rd 2013, first trip into Temple.

This was going to be my first trip into Temple with my new hearing aids. Something else to make me nervous and anxious. I was going to finish up my last movie for the Latin class. I was meeting my describer at 10am.

My FIL picked me up at 8:20am; it was already very very warm, and sunny. It was predicted to be stormy in the afternoon, so I wanted to get down there and back before this all happened. I wore shorts and a pink t-shirt, but it was so warm, I sweated most of the way there.

At the train station pup and I waited like normal. When the train was getting close, the street crossing bells, started going off. At first I didn't recognize this sound, as it sounded totally different than I had been hearing before. The train pulled up, and I asked pup to find the door. While making my way to the door, a train conductor came up and started talking to me. He identified himself as a conductor. I could hear that much, he did say more but I could not understand him. I settled down on the train for an hour. While on the train I used my IPhone through the streamer into my hearing aids, to check emails and text messages. I could also hear the announcements and other people around me. Granted I could not always understand what they were saying I could hear them. The conductor’s announcements were clear and sometimes understandable, but I am not sure if this was because of my new hearing aids, because of the announcement system, or the conductor had a clearer voice.

When we arrived at our stop I debarked the train and went on my way. My first big challenge, not that just riding the train isn't, is crossing the street just outside of the train station. So I approach the corner, no one is around, at least that I can hear, I wait, listening. Thinking maybe do I hear a car, or a truck. Should I go? Waiting for perhaps a person to come by. But no one comes. I say a little prayer and go. I didn't hear any cars, or what I thought were cars. I safely got across the street. Okay well maybe not safely, but I arrived at the corner in one piece. The next two crossings were just the same as the first. Wait, should I go? Is it safe? Are there cars? Wait some more, then say a prayer, and go. Pup would have told me if I was going to encounter a car, at least I hope.

We arrived on to campus in one piece, with no accidents from pup, and on our way to our movie. The one thing I did notice about the campus was there were in fact birds. I also was able to hear the amount of construction going on, everywhere I turned, there was some sort of big machine making some horrible noise doing something.

The movie was "Farmingville", about immigrants coming here for a better life. And how residents turned against the Mexicans. It was more of a documentary type movie, the shortest one we have watched yet. In all one moment it made me mad, it saddened me. I can see the issue from both angles.

I did notice while watching the movie, I could hear it better; I could hear my describer better. But with that said there were something’s I did miss that were said in the movie. Once done with our movie I headed over to the disability office of the university. I had wanted to see if the coordinator for deaf and hard of hearing students was in. He has a similar streaming system, so I wanted to ask some technology questions. 

If I had thought it was hot earlier in the morning, nope it was even hotter when I walked from the library one block over to the disability office. Poor pup was lethargic and panting so hard. But she kept on working. Poor pup is all black, in the heat of the sun, I am sure gets hot. Once I found out that person wasn't in the office, I made an appointment, and headed back to the train.

On the way pup pooped twice on route, not happy about this. We got to the train, and I had no clue what time it was. I took the elevator up, and a train was on the normal track that my train usually comes on. I quickly asked what train it was. I quickly jumped on, once I thought I knew which it was. I just got the train by the skin of my teeth. By this time I was extremely warm, and poor pup was panting hard. Thank goodness the train has A/C.

While on the train, I called my FIL using my streamer and aids. It worked but again I could barely hear him. I called hubby too and it was the same. So much train noise, not enough of the IPhone coming through my aids. It was more of an experiment more than to have a long conversation.

I did arrive home in all one piece, safely, tired but there. It took about an hour for me to cool down all the way. I just relaxed and read the rest of the afternoon.

The one thing over the day I noticed is that the world is very very noisy. Way more noisy than I had ever known before. Sometimes I would hear a sound, and I wasn't sure of what I was hearing. The aids do allow me to hear lots of traffic, but I can't still hear the direction that traffic is going in. I cannot hear one car, with lots of other noise around, on normal roads. I can hear cars on the main street outside of our home, as it’s got gravel down, with little other noise around. I can hear people actually speaking to me now, just not completely sure what they say all of the time.

By the time we went to bed, again I had auditory overload and very dizzy. Not sure why I am so dizzy all of a sudden again. I actually truly don't remember going to bed, but hubby must have put me to bed.

Tuesday June 25th 2013, Shopping:

For the last few weeks I have had a good girlfriend go shopping with me. She is a fellow social worker at a really great Christian agency; she also attends our church and is in our life group. She has Tuesday mornings open as she usually goes into the office later. Last Tuesday, we just went to the store, and later I suppose to go to school, but my describer cancelled, plus it rained cats and dogs. So this Tuesday, we went to the craft store to buy more yarn. I could spend so so so much time in that store. My friend also needed to pick up some things for a bridal shower she was hosting. So I found 10 rolls of yarn, 2 green, 2 yellow, 2 off white, 2 pink, 1 cream, and 1 lilac. I hope this will keep me in business for a while. So many many babies being born at my church don't drink the water! LOL

After we did our shopping at the craft store we headed to the grocery store. Normal food shopping. Last week the grocery store was fairly empty, today Oh My goodness there were so many kids. Kids screaming at the top of their lungs.

The really good thing is that unlike last week when I had to struggle to hear my firmed, I could hear her a lot better this time with my new aids. I could hear her in the car way way better. But I have also noticed that when there is a lot of noise, it confuses me, it’s just noise, and there is no way for my brain to figure it out. Like in the store, when the kids were screaming, the sound was over whelming.

The rest of the day I read and crocheted. I cooked dinner for hubby. We had been hoping that I would be able to hear the sounds of hamburger meat cooking in the skillet. But I was not, maybe a little. Like when the meat was done browning, I had to put the seasoning package in and some water. The directions say let simmer until water is gone. I could not hear the water, nor could I tell when the water was gone. Hubby made rice on the burner next to where I was browning the meat, and nor could I hear the water boiling. I didn't burn the food, and the meal was awesome.

So in the end, I can hear speech better. I can hear some sounds better, but hearing environmental sounds is still not fixed. I know these hearing aids still have some adjusting to have yet.

Ok, so that is all for now.....more later!

New hearing aids...

June 25th 2013, New Hearing Aids:

On Saturday June 21st, at 2pm, I received my new hearing aids. I'll step back a bit, hubby had a men's breakfast that same morning, so I stayed home. I had breakfast, took the pup out, played with the pup, crocheted on a baby blanket, and read a book. It was a relaxing morning for the most part. It was a cool morning, where the temperature got down into the 50's. I thought at the time I should spend more time outside, but I wanted to read and crochet. With my old hearing aids, I could not sit outside; hear my audio book player from all the other noises. So I sat in our red chair, crocheting and reading away. I woke up thinking this was the day I would get my new hearing aids, this is the day I might once again hear again.

Hubby returned from his men's breakfast and we fell into our normal Saturday chores. Laundry, organizational duties, mail and cleaning. My father-in-law was going to call at 12:55pm to pick us up, so I was hurrying around to get the laundry finished as I had nothing good to wear. Hubby and I ate a lunch of left-overs. We each had a leftover of fettuccine alfredo, I had a leftover WaWa sandwich, and hubby had the rest of my calzone. We actually took too much time eating, so I then had to run upstairs to shower and dress quickly.

By this point I was no longer feeling relaxed. I was a bit grumpy and short. The anticipation was killing me. In all one breath I was excited but scared, okay very scared.

I'll say here on June 19th, hubby and I celebrated 3 1/2 years of wonderful years of marriage. We ordered out food from an Italian place not far from here from recommendation from a neighbor. . We got a Calzone and a plate of fettuccine alfredo, and split the food. It was a very nice and romantic evening with my hubby.

Also thank you god that my hubby can put up with my brief spouts of stress. I can run around the house like a mad woman, all stressed out, short, in a hurry, and anxious. On this particular Saturday I was certainly all of those things. Hubby helps out in all the right ways and makes things all better. He is my rock, and my hero, among many other things.

As just as noted, FIL called at 12:55pm. We headed out to Ben Salem, PA, which is about an hour from here, closer to Philadelphia. I later found while waiting for the audiologist to see us is that Bucks County is shaped like a rectangle sitting on its corner, with the long sides going north to south. We live in the middle of the county. And the audiologist we were going to was south and west of us. The rectangle is sitting on it end, with one corner more south, the western corner more south and the eastern more north. Here I have lived in PA for 3 1/2 years and didn’t know this.

The ride to the audiologist was quiet. We all caught up with events of the last week and plans for the weekend. I took my crocheting along. This particular baby blanket I was working on was yellow for a unisex or unknown baby. Lots and lots of babies being born at our church, no one can drink the water without getting preggos.

So we arrived at the audiologist about 15 minutes early. By the time we arrived, it was a fairly warm and sunny day. Waiting in the room, my stomach was in knots. Hubby and FIL talked about things I didn’t really hear. Not because I wasn't listening but there was too much noise.

Right at 3pm, the audiologist called us back. First was a hearing test. This was fun, as I was placed in a very very small sound booth room box. There was about enough room for a chair and me. It was so small my knees hit the door, and my arms were pinned to my sides. The hearing test took forever. The audiologist took my old hearing aids out, and proceeded to tell me all sorts of things. DUH, you take my hearing aids I can't hear. I am not sure why it took so long. Once I figured out what he wanted me to do, of course I did. He measured my hearing to be better than the audiologist in Doylestown. But he was also still unsure if this was the correct hearing test, or that the test showed the correct results. It seemed like I was in the little sound proof box, for forever. I had started to sweat and be even more nervous than I already was. I am not sure why the confusion on the hearing test.

It’s frustrating to have hearing tests. To raise your hand or finger whenever you hear a sound. First, I guess a lot. I raise my hand or finger at the first sound I hear. I understand the need for accuracy but geesh! I do the best I can; I can't make myself hear any more than I do.

Once I was done with this hearing test, I was brought out. Then the audiologist started taking out all the different hearing aid components. I had the hearing aids, the FM system, the streamer, all the cords, and all the cases. It’s a lot of equipment. He, the Audi, put the new molds on the aids, and then placed them into my ears. The new molds are made out of silicon instead of with vinyl. The silicon is much softer, much squishier, and much more comfortable. They were not the canal molds that we had been hoping for, but they were not as big as the old molds.

So after the Audi was done, hooking up my aids up to the computer, rustling around the room for different things. He started to make some adjustments. It took a bit, as his computer crashed. When he did make some adjustments, I could not tell much difference. I question still a few days later, if this Audi knows how to make the necessary adjustments, I guess we will see. For example right away, one of the sounds I needed to be adjusted was how sharp sounds were. Like when he was rustling around the room, making quite a bit of noise, it was very sharp. It’s still that way a few days later too.

He showed us most of the components, but ran out of time with us as he had other patients. So he packaged us up for all of my new equipment and sent us on our way. He told us that he only knew about the hearing aids, not about the FM system or the streamer.

An FM system is an external microphone that someone can wear around their neck or wear. It is then transmitted into my hearing aids. In the past my hearing aids have required boots on the aids themselves to receive the FM signal. With these new aids, I no longer need the boots. I would use the FM system for classes, for church, or meetings, or when we go out I can ask hubby to wear it so I can hear him better. It works for larger crowds, large meetings, or in noisy situations. The FM system has a range of 30 feet. The receiver connects into my streamer.

The Streamer is like a remote looking device that hangs around my neck. It has several buttons for phone, television, and a built in microphone. The streamer is a Bluetooth device that I can use to Bluetooth into my IPHONE and other devices. I no longer have any cords going from my hearing aids, and my aids have Bluetooth in them too. So like when I have my streamer and IPhone paired, that sound from my IPhone goes directly into my hearing aids. I can make calls and receive calls this way. I can also use the Voice Over on the iPhone as I have always normally done. We can hook this into the TV and the land line phone. Technology has advanced so much in this regard.

So we left the office, not knowing much at all about my hearing aids. We did have the booklets and manuals. I wish he had spent more time with us, had shown us more. One of the first sounds I heard was hubby's tummy growling. Once we were outside, I heard a truck.

I have several, 3 programs on my new aids, one is normal, two is a noise reduction setting for extremely noisy settings, and the third was the T-coil. The T-coil is for talking on a landline phone. He mentioned in his hurry to package us up that he could add other programs or settings. And like I said when he did make adjustments, I could tell no difference.

On the way home, for the first time I heard, my FIL's GPS talking. Through all of the noise of the road, the car noise, the wind noise, I could still hear conversation going on, clear and loud too.

Our ride home went fast, as we talked a lot. Once hubby and I arrived home, we fixed dinner. I heard for the first time again my foot steps on the tile floor.

I'll fast forward, as the rest of the evening was just us having dinner, listening to a movie, and going to bed early. By the time we did go to bed, I had auditory overload. It was great I was hearing new and different sounds for the first or again, but it was overwhelming.

All of the anxiety and anticipation that had been building up all day was finally gone; I think that is what zapped all my energy. While getting ready for bed, I removed the new aids, and used the old ones. Such a difference, dramatic and totally different.

On this night our pillow talk was about my identity. We talked about how there was a continuum, one side was deaf blindness, on the other side was normal hearing. With my old hearing aids, I was more on the deafblind side. With my new aids, I was still on the deafblind side, but slid over more to the hearing side. I was having trouble with this change. With the fact that I even needed super powerful hearing aids. I also was feeling so much pressure for these new aids to work out; so much was going into this, into these little computers in my ears. With all of us going on, my decision or lack of there, to go to HKNC has not changed. And my need to learn sign language. In all reality I can't honestly say that I am completely comfortable with that deafblind word. It is what I am, politically at least, just as I am blind. But I guess more than that, these new aids are more of a reminder that I truly do have a hearing loss, that it’s not going to just up and get better overnight, that this is reality, and this is my reality, my life. This is who I am. I am not ashamed of it, yes scared of the unknown, but fighting one step at a time to figure this out. I won't let myself say it’s going to get worse, my hearing, I won't even go down that road. For me, it’s one more step into adjusting and accepting.

Sunday June 22nd:

We attended church just as normal. The remarkable thing about this time at church was that I heard the pastor's sermon for the first time in months. I have sat in the church on a many Sunday, and not been able to make out a word the pastor was saying. Even though we only were seated two rows from him, he would either talk too quickly or too loudly to understand. It was nice to hear the sermon. The worship music was loud, louder than I had ever heard it before. I could hear the music but not understand the words. It was very cool that people came up to me to ask how the new hearing aids were working out, and even though there was a considerable amount of noise, I could still hear a majority of what they were saying.

After church FIL, Brother-in-law, BIL's friend who happens to be a girl (long story on that note), and hubby and I, went to Ruby Tuesday’s for lunch. We were seated in a booth. Old hearing aid days I would not have been able to hear the people across the table at all, would not have been able to keep a conversation going. New aids, on this day, I kept a continuous conversation up with everyone across the table from me. Even with other diners talking, the waitress making noise, and the noise of dishes, and music playing. I will say that I asked the restaurant to turn down the music as it was super loud, and they did. I was so happy I could talk with family and be included in this. Afterwards we retreated to my FIL's house, for relaxation and A/C. While at my FIL's house, I gave his IPhone a try. With my IPhone I could only have my streamer Bluetooth into my IPhone. With his IPhone, I could have my streamer and my Bluetooth keyboard going into my IPhone. I have been on the fence for several months on whether I should upgrade to an IPhone 5.

I also use a braille display called an Apex, and with my IPhone it will not stay connected. With my FIL's IPhone, which is an IPhone 5, it will stay connected. Another reason to upgrade. I am disappointed in the respect that I cannot type on my APEX, and use this as not only as a braille display, but as a keyboard too.

The rest of the afternoon and evening were pretty relaxed and boring. We were in bed, ready for sleep at 9pm.

Sign Lessons and more....

June 20th 2013 Sign Lessons:

For the past two weeks, hubby and I have had a private tutor instructing us in sign language. The man who is instructing us is a full time interpreter. As of this last year, he was working in a high school with a student who was deaf but not blind. As of yesterday he might have left that job for another position, not sure. He has come to our home twice now for one hour. We learn the signs; learn how to make the sign tactually, and then how to use it. In our first lesson we learned about 20 signs. This most recent lesson we learn an upwards of 100 signs. That is if you count all of the numbers as one sign. We now know signs like how, where, why, when, what, here, day, night, summer, table, name, banana, refrigerator, cold, more, later, now, time, IPhone, blind, deaf, alarm, help, Amen, and many more. Our sign vocabulary is growing by leaps and bounds. Unlike with hubby, I need repetition to learn the signs; hubby needs to learn the mechanics of the signs. Just different learning styles. We made out a list of all the words we wanted to learn, we originally decided on like 140 words. Hubby is also keeping a written description of all the signs and how to make them, and sometimes the different variations. Like for example there are two different ways of saying the word "what". One of our major questions, is how does a deafblind person tell the difference between the words, "summer", "Black, and ugly". The only difference between those signs is that they are displayed on different parts of the face, in other words different levels on your face. Further, summer, is signed on the forehead. It’s a question I will be putting out to the deafblind community. Our tutor has worked with deafblind persons for several years now, so is very versed into the culture of deafblindness. He has been at our SEPABD events.

Thursday, hubby was sick. And of course you guessed it, Friday I then got whatever he had. Hubby woke up on Thursday with a stomach ache, heartburn, a fever, and just overall feeling icky. He stayed home and I took care of him. Luckily it seems it only lasts about 24 hours. Friday was my turn. I slept for much of the morning, and wasn't up until the afternoon. I felt a little better by Friday evening, but truly felt much better Saturday morning.

Friday night we went to sign up for a Costco membership. Yes I know so exciting to be shopping in Costco on a Friday night. Saturday, hubby was up early for a men's bible study. This was their first meeting that includes breakfast. I spent the morning, doing laundry, and working on a baby blanket.

I know very exciting, sorry. Not every post can be exciting or funny. I guarantee more to come....

Random Musings Part 2

June 16th: Pillow Talk

I'll start off by saying that this post has no perverse descriptions, this is a clean post, and all persons, young and old can read. This just happened to be just before we went to bed.

Saturday, June 15th, was a typical day at home. Hubby caught up on organizational work. I finished another baby blanket. And we did many other things in-between. Typical Saturday chores, laundry, catching up on emails, sending out bills, blah blah blah. 

So we were getting ready for bed, nothing out of the ordinary. Brushing our teeth, taking pills, getting settled for the night. As I am assuming most couples who are married, have some sort of pillow talk. Now I won't get into the naughty sort, but couples talk about the day, plans for the next day, or just random thoughts.

Usually we are so tired, we talk about random thoughts. But on this night we were talking, and I have no clue how we got on to the subject. Earlier as I had been getting ready for bed, I took my hearing aids out. I took them out as they make my ears sore, hurt and just overall irritated. Without my hearing aids, I cannot understand what hubby is saying. I can hear that he is talking, but it’s very low in volume, and I can't make out the words. So to say our prayers, I put my hearing aids back in. Before we said our prayers, I told hubby I wanted him to see what it was like for me.

So I proceeded to put my hearing aids in his ears. I started off putting the right one in, and surprisingly it fit. Then I tried to put the left in. I could not hear what he was telling me; remember both hearing aids were out. Later he was saying that the hearing aid was giving alot of feedback, a very high pitched sound. So I put my left hearing aid into his ear. I think I left them in for a whole 2 or 3 minutes.

Here is what hubby had to say about him wearing my hearing aids:

It was an eye-opening experience to get a taste of what Marsha hears through her hearing aids. My first impression was that they really did not amplify much at all. There was also more background noise and mild feedback than useful sounds. For instance, the ceiling fan caused quite a racket through the hearing aids, but it otherwise only makes a gentle whirring noise. I can now better understand how the sound they produce would be considered a major nuisance until someone's hearing became such that the increased ambient noise was not so noticeable. They are also very uncomfortable in a physical sense, since the ear molds are rigid vinyl and not the softer silicone that newer high-powered hearing aids use. I'm glad I was able to get this auditory look into Marsha's world.

So in the end, something that started out to be just play, turned into a very good learning experience for hubby. We then went on to say our prayers and go to sleep. Probably not the pillow talk you expected, but just a look into our pillow talk on this night.

See I told you the post would be clean, and you doubted me. LOL

Enough from me tonight, more to come I am sure...

Random Musings Part 1

June 16th:

After our trip to LI, I used Wednesday to rest, catch up on sleep, and get things back into order.

Thursday, had been predicted to be a stormy day, and oh boy was it ever. I left the house at 8:20am, with my FIL at the wheel. I was to catch an 8:43 train to Center City Philadelphia. I was going into Temple to watch another one of the dreaded movies I was required to watch in a Latin class I took during the spring semester. I was able to find a wonderful describer, and we usually meet at 10am. As it takes us about 4 hours to get through a 2 hour movie. The student I am working with describes all of the visual information, all of the subtitles, and helps me work on the required worksheets. You must be talented to do all three tasks, and that she is. These are not the run of the mill movies; they are typically, of Latin origin, in Spanish, with a very detailed theme. For example the movie we were watching on this day was about Gang violence in Brazil. Not typically a topic I would choose for myself, but it’s required. The only thing I will say about this particular movie is that it was violent, depressing, and had lots of cussing. I am lucky I did not have nightmares about it. Anyways back to my trip into the city. I boarded the train, no rain had started. I thought maybe just maybe I would be able to get down to the city to my building, without getting wet. Well as we are getting closer and closer to center city, it started to rain harder and harder.

Note, here I can't hear that well, but when the rain is so hard, I can hear it, and it’s hard and loud.

So by the time I got off the train at my stop it was pouring cats and dogs. I was able to get down to the street level without getting too wet. But that is when it let loose completely. It rained hard. Like inches in minute’s hard rain. There was quite a few other people waiting under the tracks, waiting for the rain to let up. So I waited, and waited, and waited. My describer was running late herself, so I wasn't worried about the time. After about 20 minutes it let up enough. Through all of this, it was lightening and thundering, very loudly. Loud enough that I wanted to go and crawl under a blanket. I did think, I should have never ventured out and should have stayed in bed. Oh well! Puppy wasn't too happy about the lightning and thunder, she shook every time it thundered, but never whined. 

So when I did come out from under the tracks, the protected area of the train station, it was still raining. Raining from sideways. But I figured that I better make it a run for it when I could. I wasn't alone. On my walk there was a girl there with her mother who were looking at the campus for the fall. Not a good day for that sort of tour. When I got off the block that the train station occupies, this is where I wish I could have seen. I started to cross the street, and there was water. Not inches of water, not a few inches of water, but water up to my shins. My shoes were submerged under water, and so were my pants. This was the type of rain, that no coat, no hat could keep you dry. I didn't use my umbrella, as the winds was too strong. There were other people trying to help me get through this water. There was about 1 1/2 blocks of this. Pup had no clue what to do. She had on her poky pants, I guess when there is water up to her belly, and maybe she thought she would have to swim.  And now to think about it later, I probably should not have walked through it, as it could have swept me away. But I was in a hurry, wet, and on a mission.

I did get to the university campus finally. Then Miss Pup thought that she should go potty right there in the middle of the rain, in the middle of the sidewalk. I wasn't happy. And I probably said a few choice words, words I am not proud of. Some people around would say I corrected pup too hard, and yes maybe this is the case, but she was in harness. I had given her plenty of time at home to go, she gave me no warning, no heads up, nothing. I was wet, it was raining, and I was embarrassed. Not excuses, just what was going on. The other part that frustrated me is that my university does not believe in trash cans. I walked about 2 blocks before I found one. So after I corrected pup, I finally did make it to my destination.

My describer did not have much better luck in getting to campus that morning too. By the time I went home, my shoes were still squishy, still wet. When I came out of the building we had been watching the movie in, the library, it was sunny and humid. Oy Vey!

More musings to come...